10 Things I’d Tell a Sister Adjusting to Life After Hijrah
Having made hijrah to Egypt, Saudi Arabia, and now Morocco, I’ve learned quite a few things about adjusting to a new country.
Some lessons were easy.
Others? Maaannn. We had to learn those the hard way. (Alhamdulillah for everything!)
So here are ten things I’d share with a sister who’s preparing to make hijrah or trying to get accustomed to her new country!
1. Join the sisters’ WhatsApp groups BEFORE you arrive.
I cannot recommend this enough!
A good 90–95% of the information we’ve gathered and connections we’ve made throughout our hijrah journey came from WhatsApp.
Join the groups early, ask questions, and start connecting with sisters who already live where you’re planning to go.
We’ve received recommendations for everything from housing and doctors to local services, parenting resources, and activities. And sisters have been so helpful even before we’ve arrived in a country, Allahumma barik alayhunna!
If your husband or brothers are making hijrah too, encourage them to join the brothers’ WhatsApp groups as well. We’ve benefited from both!
2. Ask more than one sister the same question.
Everyone has different experiences. One sister might tell you an area is wonderful, while another had a completely different experience living there. ☠️
I like asking several sisters similar questions to see where their answers overlap and where something might be specific to their personal circumstances.
And this applies to so many things! Everyday living, housing, transportation, healthcare, and even different processes you may need to navigate.
One sister might have had no trouble with something another sister struggled with. Their circumstances may be very different from yours, so it’s helpful to hear more than one perspective.
One important note: When researching visas, residency, citizenship-related requirements, or other documentation, please check official sources first! Requirements can vary depending on your citizenship and circumstances. Look into the relevant government websites, embassy, or consulate, then supplement that information with sisters’ experiences.
3. Stop expecting it to be your previous country.
This was a BIG one for me. When I first moved to Egypt, I kept comparing things to America. But eventually, I had to remind myself: girl, you’re in EGYPT. Learn Egypt!
Instead of constantly expecting everything to be similar to the country I left, I had to learn to appreciate where I was.
And yes, this includes my little Egyptian Doritos experience. (If you know, you know!)
Of course, I can still miss things from America. But constantly comparing everything to what I was accustomed to made adjusting that much harder.
4. Figure out how the locals live there.
Where do people shop? How do they get around? Handle everyday errands and services?
Find out where the grocery stores are, which areas are convenient for you, and what resources are available nearby. Especially if you have children!
Ask sisters for recommendations, watch useful videos, and make an effort to learn how things are normally done where you’re living.
Sometimes the way you’re accustomed to doing something simply isn’t how people do it in your new country.
And figuring that out can save you SO much time and frustration! Even knowing where to find the things your family needs or who to contact for a particular service can make everyday life easier.
5. Keep some familiar routines.
You can learn to appreciate a different country while still enjoying some of the things that make everyday life familiar to you.
If you enjoy having tea every morning, find a tea you like! If your family has a certain routine, see how you can adapt it to where you’re living now.
When so much around you is new, having a few familiar things throughout your day can be really helpful when trying to make it home.
Sometimes it’s the lil things. 🧡
6. Experience your new country!
Make a list of things you’d love to experience! What are the places you’ve been wanting to visit? Foods you want to try? Activities you’d like to do with your family?
Ask other sisters what they enjoy about living there. You may discover things you didn’t even know existed!
It doesn’t have to be anything expensive or elaborate, either. Give yourself and your family opportunities to explore and fall in love with where you live. 🧡
7. Meet sisters IN PERSON!
Girl, I’m talking to myself here, too. I know this one may sting for us fellow introverts, but hear me outtt:
I could be in ALL the WhatsApp groups, chatting with sisters online, and still be home by myself.
My virtual self had friends all over those WhatsApp groups.
But my physical self?
Girl. At home. ALONE.
Sometimes I had to make myself go out, and I was always glad when I did! Those in-person connections are important and super refreshing! They’re also so rejuvenating, Alhamdulillah.
It’s so much different texting or calling a sister and then actually being there with her! And this is wonderful if you have children, too. They get opportunities to meet and play with other children while you spend time with the sisters.
If you’re married, encourage your husband to get acquainted with the brothers as well!
8. Tell sisters you’re new!
Introduce yourself, ask about activities, and see who’s interested in meeting up. I’ve found that sisters can be so welcoming and sweet, Allahumma barik alayhunna! 🌺
Sometimes all it takes is letting sisters know you’ve recently moved and would love to get acquainted with others. And don’t be afraid to ask whether there are gatherings, classes, playgroups, or other opportunities to meet sisters.
I’ve benefited so much from the kindness of sisters throughout our hijrah journey. Sisters have shared recommendations, helped us with information, welcomed us into their homes, and even helped us after giving birth.
Alhamdulillah, there are some wonderful sisters out there!
9. SAVE your hijrah resources!
My husband and I have a private WhatsApp community where we save useful information in different groups (we’re nerdy, okay).
We started doing this when we lived in Madinah and adapted it when we moved to Morocco.
Basically, we have different subgroups for different topics, including general country resources, residency and housing, things we want or need to buy, food and place recommendations, contacts and services, and more!
We also save Islamic benefits, parenting recommendations, and other useful information.
We’re both in the community, so we can forward information we come across in the sisters’ and brothers’ WhatsApp groups.
If someone recommends a good doctor or shares an important link, we forward it into the appropriate group!
Someone recommends a service? Into our contacts and services group it goes.
Someone shares information about renting? We save it under housing!
Then, whenever we need something, we can go straight to the relevant group instead of trying to remember which WhatsApp conversation it came from.
It’s become our little virtual reference guide, and it has helped us SO much. I highly recommend creating something similar for yourself and your family!
BUT PLEAASEE I BEG OF THEE, BACK UP YOUR CHATS
I lost all my messages transferring my WhatsApp to my new phone once…I cried :’)
So much juicy info, WhatsApp group convos, and messages…gone :’)
Don’t be like me guys :’)
10. Give your new country a real, fair chance.
Sometimes a country genuinely won’t be the best fit for your family. We’ve experienced that ourselves.
But before deciding that, try to learn how things work there, meet people, establish routines, and discover what you enjoy. You might be surprised by what you eventually grow to love!
I also think it’s important to differentiate between difficulties that may become more manageable as you adjust and circumstances that genuinely make a country unsuitable for you or your family.
Because those are two different things, and we’ve had to consider that ourselves throughout our hijrah journey.
If it truly isn’t a good fit, please know that that is okay! Make istikhaarah and du’aa that Allah makes it easy for you to find a country that’s best for you and your family. 🧡🌺
✨ BONUS TIP: If you don’t see something you need, start it!
If there’s something you wish existed in the city you’ve made hijrah to, but you can’t seem to find it, why not consider starting it yourself?
Chances are, another sister is looking for something similar! When I was preparing to move to Madinah, I was pregnant and asking around about giving birth there.
I wanted information about childbirth, hospitals, and whether there were any groups or communities for mothers where I could connect with other sisters.
I couldn’t really find what I was looking for, so I started a WhatsApp community for mothers in Madinah! And Alhamdulillah, around two and a half years later, it’s still going. 🧡
And now sisters moving to Madinah have somewhere to connect with other mothers because that community exists. All because I was looking for something, couldn’t find it, and decided to start it myself, Alhamdulillah.
So if you notice something missing in your new city, consider being the sister who gets it going! You never know how many other sisters and families might benefit, bi idhnillah. 🌺
And one more thing: Remember why you made hijrah.
There have been times throughout our hijrah journey when things were extremely difficult.
But then I’ll experience something beautiful about living amongst the Muslims, hear the adhan, or see something that reminds me why we made these sacrifices in the first place. Alhamdulillah.
Those reminders mean so much to me, especially when I think about the kind of life we wanted for our children.
And whatever country you’re adjusting to, I hope Allah blesses you with beneficial experiences, righteous companions, and a home where you and your family can thrive. Allahumma Ameen!
~Bint Jihad 🌺